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Author How many pumps can you take from Tyson...
SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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17th Jun 11 at 14:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Until your ring piece rips

Ben G : "the fuck judging by the log that just came out i'm guessing 3, maybe 4 at a push."

Eck : "Depends. I've had quite a lot in there before. Give me a bottle of KY, and a handful of clementines and I'll give you a glass of orange juice."

Fro : "12.5 i believe."

Hammer : "What is the diameter of his nigger penis?"

>>>> SetH : 6 inches, proper nigga horse cock son

Hammer :"1 pump then, my unbleached arse has never been probed by anyone other than my own finger....in the shower....whilst I had a wank."

aidohead : "three and a half, for sure."

Scoob : "wind your fucking neck in, you dont want to run with me cunt id leave you behind. "

OJC : "Quite a few actually, had so many things up it last few years." > The rest of ollies response has been censored unless ollie authorises its posting.

loafofbrett : "He'd probably collapse after 1 once he's broken the seal and released the toxic gas tbh."

Munchie :"15, u?"

Jambo : "3, at a push."

Russ : "12 from Tyson, 8 from you"

Rob R : "16, 17 on a good day?"









pow
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Registered: 11th Sep 06
Location: Hazlemere, Buckinghamshire
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17th Jun 11 at 14:50   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
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17th Jun 11 at 14:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Lol good u2u that was.
Fro
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Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
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17th Jun 11 at 14:54   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

cheered me up on a shite day

I <3 Sethery
Fro
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Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
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17th Jun 11 at 14:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Scoob
Brett
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Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
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17th Jun 11 at 14:56   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

brebaz
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Registered: 11th Dec 09
Location: newcastle
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17th Jun 11 at 15:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I feel left out
SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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17th Jun 11 at 15:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote



he wants your white ass
Kerry
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Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
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17th Jun 11 at 15:26   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Russ
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Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
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17th Jun 11 at 15:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

and thats exactly what happened
AlunJ
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Registered: 3rd Apr 07
Location: Newport
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17th Jun 11 at 16:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Brett
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17th Jun 11 at 16:28   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Fro
Scoob

Just read that
3CorsaMeal
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Registered: 11th Apr 02
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17th Jun 11 at 16:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

i see you choose not to post my reply

bet you will pretend it never happened as well
Rob R
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Registered: 31st May 03
Location: Kent
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17th Jun 11 at 18:15   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

So I win the "Slackest Ring on CS" award?
scoob
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Registered: 16th Oct 03
Location: Beverley, E Riding of Yorkshire
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17th Jun 11 at 18:37   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

roid rage that day.
SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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18th Jun 11 at 10:16   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by 3CorsaMeal
i see you choose not to post my reply

bet you will pretend it never happened as well


I havent got a reply from you mate, just checked U2U's again nothing there
3CorsaMeal
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Registered: 11th Apr 02
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18th Jun 11 at 11:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by SetH
quote:
Originally posted by 3CorsaMeal
i see you choose not to post my reply

bet you will pretend it never happened as well


I havent got a reply from you mate, just checked U2U's again nothing there




i get ya
adiohead
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Registered: 28th Sep 01
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18th Jun 11 at 13:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by SetH

Ben G : "the fuck judging by the log that just came out i'm guessing 3, maybe 4 at a push."

aidohead : "three and a half, for sure."

Jambo : "3, at a push."



fucking close!

[Edited on 18-06-2011 by adiohead]
CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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18th Jun 11 at 13:10   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Tyson is a weakling compared to Kriss Akabusi.

quote:
Akabusi sat in his Vauxhall Corsa as it passed through the car wash humming the theme tune from Record Breakers. All the windows were soaped up and no one could see in so, for the briefest moments, he thought about having a w*nk. But his two kids were in the back so he decided against it.

After dropping them off at school, Akabusi was at a loss as to how to fill his day. He was delivering a motivational speech to a bunch of spastics tonight in Stevenage so he didn't want to over do it. He felt a twinge in his back. It had been aching since him and John Fashanu had wrestled naked in front of a roaring fire at Fash's £128,700 mansion in Hemel Hempstead. Akabusi had smashed a porcelain bust of Justin and he had had to leave.

Before he knew it he was at a massage parlour and had paid his £10 entry. Before he could get to the changing rooms he slipped out of his pin stripe dungerees and could feel the fragrant steam of the sauna tickle his massive balls like a poacher under a trout.

He applied a towel to his lower torso, barely able to conceal his pulsating ebony fire hydrant. He stepped into the room and lay down on the pleather massage table pushing his face through the hole and letting his cock hang over the side.

Behind him the door opened and Akabusi's pussy senses were raised to Severe. The aroma of chicken and sweetcorn soup and Morecambe Bay cockles hit him like a steam train and he knew right then that he would sire another child.

Small hands covered in oil began to explore his muscular, Nigerian coffee coloured bodywork. As the girl's hands reached his proud buttocks he tried everything in his power to conceal a huge fart he had been brewing since he'd parked in the multi storey car park.

When the girl slipped a greasy little finger up his April he let out a yelp and nearly roared "Awooga" but he stopped himself. The hands of the girl motioned him to turn over, which he duly did.

His eyes found a young Chinese girl wearing a little white tunic which he knew concealed a pair of juicy little bristols and almost certainly a clunge as ripe and yellow as a week old banana. As he lay on his back, blood rushed into his veiny Tower of Pisa quicker than Asians into a Cash And Carry at 8.59am. He lay there looking like a chocolate drawing pin as the girl starting applying more and more oil. He was so hard and tall that he worried slightly that the price of oil may be affected by his erection.

Her tiny hands kneeded his giant oak and at one point Akabusi half thought she was an Ewok trying to climb a Giant Red on Endor. He leapt up and ripped open her tunic revealing, as he had suspected, a gorgeous set of two tits, nipples as dark as Green and Black 70% and a pussy so wet and hairless he was reminded of Duncan Goodhew.

He dived into her like a released rapist and set about plunging into every orifice that was available and some that were not. Within hours he was on his vinegars and let rip with such a gush of spunk that the poor girl tried in vein to make a call to the Morecambe Bay coastguard.

Spent, sweating and panting Akabusi untangled his yawning plonker and slipped on his dungerees. The girl, who later from police reports he found was called Hi Tide Run, lay on the floor, a shredded mess of manfat, baby oil, matted hair and rice. Akabusi looked at his Casio watch/calculator and saw that the spastic thing started in 20 minutes. He bent down over the Chinese meal he had just demolished, whisphered "Awooga" in her ear and patted her on the fanny.
John John
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Registered: 5th Jun 11
Location: South Wales
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18th Jun 11 at 15:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

What the fuck??!
SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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19th Jun 11 at 12:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Jesus Christ ASH WTF

Is that your fantasy bed time reading?
BarnshaW
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Registered: 25th Oct 06
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19th Jun 11 at 13:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Akabusi scaled the walls of the £756,000 Sussex mansion with all the stealth of a gekko on a Mallorcan shower wall. As luck would have it the window was open. He dropped in and slipped out of his dungerees and let the cool air caress his polished ebony skin.

The house was quiet. He looked into one room and saw the sleeping Peter Andre - without the wig and wax on his face he was rather beautiful. But Akabusi wasn't into arses. Not today.

He heard a noise coming from the bathroom. He ran along the landing, his giant cock swinging in the air like Saddam on Youtube. He looked into the bathroom and saw a mad little f**ker, big as a barrel and blind as a bat leaping up and down in some boiling water.

"Akabusi!" said a voice behind him. "Stop looking at my son with your cock out".

Akabusi slowly turned around and saw Katie Price in front of him - wearing nothing but a Juicy Couture camisole and the slightest glistening of her ample clunge.

As ever Akabusi's cock became harder than the Guardian cryptic and proceeded to bang her tits off as Harvey ate a bag of Prawn Cocktail crisps from the floor that Akabusi had brought just in case.

Before Akabusi left he wiped his now dying cock on Harvey's afro, bent down to the prone Jordan, who lay liked a painter's radio in the moonlight, and whispered "Awooga" in her ear and patted her on the fanny.
Jake
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Registered: 24th Jan 05
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19th Jun 11 at 13:20   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

£128 700 mansion
micra_pete
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Registered: 23rd Apr 03
Location: West Yorkshire
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19th Jun 11 at 21:41   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote



 
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