tom130691
Premium Member
Registered: 13th Sep 08
Location: Daventry
User status: Offline
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dont know who made it or if its a repost but it amused me
Zonda vs MX5
"I’d been to Wickes to pick up a few bags of gravel (I’d been doing some gardening that weekend). On the way home, I pull up at the lights, and what should happen to pull up next to me? Only a bloody Zonda C12. I looked across at the driver. Some old guy. This really pissed me off; what’s this old duffer doing driving a car like that? I could tell he wanted to race me, by the way he was pretending to look totally disinterested. I knew that if all things were equal, my MX5 would be no match for the Zonda. The Zonda has its engine in the middle, you see, meaning it has more traction than my car off the line. However, he what he didn’t know was that in my boot I had two large bags of industrial grade gravel pushing my mismatching rear tyres into the tarmac. I weighed up my chances in my head. Even with my added advantage of the gravel in the boot, it would seem like a difficult battle. But I was still outraged at the audacity of this coffin dodger driving a supercar.
I Looked down at the centre console, and selected my favourite dubstep CD on the stereo, blipped the throttle, then selected first. No. This was a proper race. I selected second gear instead. Waited. The lights went amber. I floored the throttle and dropped the clutch. The car lurched forward then bogged down. Idiot! I should have accounted for the extra traction from the rear ballast, and used first gear instead! The Zonda had pulled away slightly, but I could see that the situation was not totally lost. I pumped the clutch and kicked it again, this time getting the revs into the power band.
The Zonda driver had managed to minimise his wheelspin by pulling away slowly, however his mistake was not pressing the throttle properly. This is where I knew I had the advantage; being an experienced street racer, I knew that if he didn’t fully press the throttle pedal, he wouldn’t receive the benefit of the torque from the engine. This was high level stuff, that they certainly don’t teach you at the BSM! I took my chance and pressed my throttle fully. It worked exactly as planned. I started to make back some of the ground I had lost when I nearly stalled it.
I could hear him shifting gears, and calculated that he couldn’t have been using more than about 3-4000rpm. Again, his inexperience was showing itself here; if he’d have let the engine rev higher, it would have delivered more power and he may have stood a chance. It wasn’t a mistake I was about to make. I kept my right foot nailed to the bulkhead as the revs slowly climbed. We were now neck-a-neck, and must have been reaching speeds of nearly 45mph. I was really getting my engine into the power band now.
I was a little bit concerned about having temperature problems, but as I was only about a mile into my journey the engine was nice and cold. I could feel the power building, and as the revs climbed my nose pulled ahead. He had already changed to fourth gear while I was still in second. As I hit the redline, I used another of my racing techniques; a full throttle gearshift! I knew that Mazda had built a device to stop the engine over-revving, called a rev limiter, to allow just such a technique. I mashed my foot onto the clutch and heard the familiar ‘pupupupup!’ of the rev limiter doing its job. I thrust the shifter into third and dropped the clutch, feeling it slip under the huge power delivery at high revs.
I had pushed my car to its limit and used all of my techniques against a lesser driver, and proved once and for all that my skill and my beautifully engineered sports car are more than a match for your average supercar."
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VrsTurbo
Premium Member
Registered: 8th Jun 10
User status: Offline
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Didnt know Steve owned an MX5
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BarnshaW
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
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what a shit story
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Neo
Member
Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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jrneedo
Member
Registered: 10th Oct 07
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
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he needs to be shot...what a cunt
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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It's clearly a joke ffs 
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tom130691
Premium Member
Registered: 13th Sep 08
Location: Daventry
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by alan-g-w
It's clearly a joke ffs
massive amounts of internet in it give it away as a joke
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mike56gte
Member
Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
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pretty funny
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Ben G
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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author: paul 'the elite meister' joslin.
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corsadonk
Premium Member
Registered: 4th Jul 09
Location: Marlborough, Wiltshire
User status: Offline
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I did beat a Porsche the other day like that, in my Transit van. 
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by jrneedo
he needs to be shot...what a cunt
Actually quite funny.
The crazy thing is, there are people out there like that.
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tom130691
Premium Member
Registered: 13th Sep 08
Location: Daventry
User status: Offline
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i beat a 20v t ibiza yesterday
his in experience ment he lost ground over a roundabout then as she boosted past me blew a boost pipe, technicaly win to me, pikey using normal hose clips apposed to the wider ones specialy for boost piping
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