fiestakidda
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Registered: 23rd Oct 02
Location: Darlington (Come On Boro)
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My wife and I had our first baby two weeks ago and at first it was amazing but over the last week I've found things really hard. Adjusting to having a baby I'm struggling with and cannot think that I've lost too much of my freedom. Now I knew I would lose freedom in terms of going out on the lash etc but I feel like we as a couple have lost our spontaneous side of being able to get up and go when it's a nice day.
My question is, did any other new dads feel like this and will it pass?
Don't get me wrong the little un is awesome and everything I could have asked for, she was planned but I'm not a baby person I do prefer them when they can walk and talk etc.
[Edited on 12-08-2012 by fiestakidda]
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CORSA NUT
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Registered: 3rd Aug 01
Location: Wirral
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Our girl is 18 months old now 
Well what can I say, being a parent is fucking hard. The reality is your life will never be the same again but I have to say looking back the first few months are the easiest 
It gets harder and easier in equal measure as they get older. Things get into a groove after about 4 weeks IMO and you'll feel a lot better. Just don't forget to have time for each other no matter how hard it is leaving them for a few hours.
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3CorsaMeal
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Registered: 11th Apr 02
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Waste of time and money imo
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Dave
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Registered: 26th Feb 01
Location: Lancs
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Swings and roundabouts. Yes obviously you lose some freedom but you gain in other ways. The first time they smile, first words, first steps, seeing them go off for their first day at school etc. Unless you really don't like kids they are some of the greatest moments of your life.
It does get easier too, especially if the kids has good grandparents who take them off your hands now and again so you can spend some decent time with the Mrs.
Mine came in earlier with two Oreos, "I've saved my last two for you Dad, can I have a kiss and cuddle cos I'm tired now and I'm going to bed". Sounds soppy but money can't buy stuff like that.
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AndyKent
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Registered: 3rd Sep 05
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Give it more than 2 weeks
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CORSA NUT
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Registered: 3rd Aug 01
Location: Wirral
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave
Swings and roundabouts. Yes obviously you lose some freedom but you gain in other ways. The first time they smile, first words, first steps, seeing them go off for their first day at school etc. Unless you really don't like kids they are some of the greatest moments of your life.
It does get easier too, especially if the kids has good grandparents who take them off your hands now and again so you can spend some decent time with the Mrs.
Mine came in earlier with two Oreos, "I've saved my last two for you Dad, can I have a kiss and cuddle cos I'm tired now and I'm going to bed". Sounds soppy but money can't buy stuff like that.
Amen to that Dave
I came home after a shitty day in work on Friday and my wife and daughter were walking down the road towards the shops. I stopped and said I'd come with them and to wait. As I was walking up to them Mia was running towards me with her arms flapping shouting 'Daddy Daddy Daddy!' with a huge smile on her face  made everything else going on float away and brought a tear to my eye when she hugged me.
Love being a dad.
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Nath
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: MK
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quote:
Originally posted by 3CorsaMeal
Waste of time and money imo
Probably for the best that you dont reproduce anyway mate.
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Dan
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Registered: 22nd Apr 02
Location: Gorleston on Sea, Norfolk
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Best thing we ever did. Fuck knows what we actually did with our lives before.
Nice family outings and things are great. Nothing beats them special moments, like teeth and walking etc.
Our little boy is 18 months now. It's hardwork now. Into everything. Doesn't understand no properly. First weeks are a bit of piss in comparison.
You need to make time for each other as well as spend time doing what u both want. Like seein mates etc.
Did you plan this? I'm guessing not. We did. So maybe made it easier
Adult GiftsClick here to vist us
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VegasPhil
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Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
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Mine is 3 and a half. It's awesome. Wouldn't change him for the world.
Give it time. You will find you won't miss what your mates are up to do much and they may even be a little broody.
Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
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adiohead
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Registered: 28th Sep 01
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They just grow up to watch you die.
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Why can't you get up and go places with a baby? We took our 3 month old to the Nurburgring and it wasn't a burden.
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
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You are at the stage where the baby is not really giving you anything back at the minute, you are running around after her and getting nothing in return. This is the honest part of being a parent.
But as stated above, wait for that moment where they do their first "x", it can be as little as the moment you relalise they are actually looking at you and not are the array of colours and lights they now face and then it starts to get so rewarding.
Once the family has stopped coming round every minute of the day, you will have time to load up your pram and show your little'un off to the world will also give you a lift in parenting. We went to a lot of coffee shops just to get out of the house and obviously people have a nosey at new-borns.
Also note, your relationship with the Mrs will change, get hard and very stressful. Make sure you put effort into that too.
For me though, my little win of the day seems to be carrying my son to bed. It's a proper moment of the day for me, looking at his face whilst he dreams about toys and boobs. That moment he giggles in his sleep or smiles from ear to ear - you just literally melt.
Stick at it mate... I'm loving the time spent with Caleb and he's only been here for around 5 months
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Dave
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Registered: 26th Feb 01
Location: Lancs
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One thing to remember though is not to let them rule your life too much. I still play cricket at weekends for example, make time for nights/meals out with mates and Mrs etc. It's all about striking the right balance for you.
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Russ
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Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
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mine is 28 months, asked her if she wanted a bath at 5:30 this evening and she said she wanted to go to the sea side, so we did that instead, that spontaneous enough for you smoggy
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
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quote:
Originally posted by VegasPhil
Give it time. You will find you won't miss what your mates are up to do much and they may even be a little broody.
I'd say that it's not a case of missing your mates, its more that they have to understand your prioritys have changed so when you do eventually catch up with them, you have an awesome night!
But yes, Broody is one thing they will be!
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fiestakidda
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Registered: 23rd Oct 02
Location: Darlington (Come On Boro)
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She was planned and I'm so happy being a dad but like Gaz said above I'm finding this bit tough as nothing is happening in terms of if baby wakes we feed, change nappy and send her back to sleep.
I can't wait until shes talking and walking so we can go feed the ducks, go to the park etc
Russ that's just perfect I can't wait for those random moments and will make my day.
Suppose in a sense I'd like a 2 year rather than a baby lol
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Chris
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Registered: 21st Sep 99
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Everyone with kids goes thru the very same things, some people cut themselves off once they have kids some people dont.
In terms of them being a waste of money and time im not quite sure how you would feel seing something you create achive a goal, 1st steps, 1st words, 1st gold medal.
Something you would never know if you are not a parent.
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gtitim
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Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: the boonies
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It's hard. We have a 4 1/2r old, and a 2 week old. Adjusting to sleep deprivation, having to stop whatever we're doing to feed every 3hrs, taking half the house with you, the costs, it all takes some getting used to. We have had a ridiculous amount of visitors, and things to do. I'm lucky enough to havegot 3 weeks off, but its going by so quickly i have no time to do anything - not been gym, not cleaned cars, hardly anything. Would i change it - no chance. The first smile will be enough to forget the time i've lost.
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
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Hold in there buddy, you have only had the most important thing in your life for 2 weeks... 14 days is the time you have probably spent on your longest holiday.
As I said, forget about responsives like smiles and giggles for now. Look for finer things from her, that moment she stares at you and you know she is focused on you. Thats when the responsiveness starts to roll.
5 months in and we have smiles, stares, tracking across the room, family members recognised, sat and stood up (with us holding him of course) giggles, attention crying, finger grabbing, biting and licking anything he can possible can (mainly his fingers), the cutest of sneezes when he goes into direct sunlight and he is starting to try to roll over at the minute. You have so much to look forward to, capture the moments with a smile and look back at it as a positive not a negative
[Edited on 12-08-2012 by Gaz]
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Steve
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Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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Something you have to prepare for mentally and financially etc, then I think you can enjoy it , don't understand these people like ojc that get trapped into having a baby by bunnyboiler maneaters then pretending its suddenly what they wanted when they had no interest before.
[Edited on 12-08-2012 by Steve]
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
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you cannot prepare for it Steve if it's your first. You do not prepare for sleep depravation nor the costs of having a child. The main stuff is bought but my god babys will guarantee to have one more shit than the amount of nappies you have at home, on a sunday with no shops open locally.
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baza31
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Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
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It's a hard change but it will be the best change you will ever make in life. Until you have your own you will never understand the happiness you get from a child.
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ljames555
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Registered: 2nd Sep 03
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Yes sometimes think like this but I suppose its a normal thing to do when times are hard.
Son is 3 and is an absolute dream to be around with nothing keeps you "stuck in"
Daughter is 1 an yes a typical cutey but what a difference , horrible first 3 months of her life being sick tried everything steadied out. But now she is an absolute whinger around mammy which causes tension between us. Typical girl needs attention and can't be happy like my little lad was with toys.
Soon as she is 2.5 yrs It'll be all easy ish going.
Tips. Only have 2 kids, anymore and parents are out numbered  also if your wanting more pop them out as close as you can, don't get yourself out the baby times to start all over again.
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Russ
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Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
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tip 2, never have multiple girls, they will grow up to be sisters, and theyll fuck up somebodies life
[Edited on 12-08-2012 by Russ]
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purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
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Don't post on here much, but still look from time to time (something to do with not having a corsa for the last 6 years), but have had a son 5 weeks ago. First thing I would say is everyone is different. I have a twin brother whose wife had a son 2 weeks to the day after mine. My son is amazing, theirs is more awkward (mine's up once in the night, theirs 3 times, theirs won't wind, mine will) but I can see a huge change now, from 3 weeks ago. He's becoming more alert day by day and is being more interactive. It is a piss on, not being able to just jump in the car and go somewhere, taking an hour to leave the house and when you finally can leave, needing to feed, but even that has become easier.
I'm very similar in wanting him to be like a 2-3 year old that can have a laugh and a more of a conversation, but can honestly say the last 5 weeks with my son have been amazing and wouldn't change a second of it. As has been mentioned - still try to do most things you'd have done before to keep your life as normal as it was.
He's our first, and can agree with nothing preparing you for it in any way. We thought we'd thought everything through......no chance.
The only negative is we're moving to New Zealand in October, so will have a 36 hour journey with a 4 month old......wouldn't wish that on anyone!
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