ShEp
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 05
Location: Dingwall, Highland
User status: Offline
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After 7 years,
The girlfriend turned round as said she loved me but wasn't "in love with me"
I have asked her if she knows why? or what has happened but she is unsure,
I had a feeling something was up as she has been pretty quiet this past fortnight.
Hurts like hell 
Don't even know why I'm writing it here tbh, just shell shocked.
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
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I hate that expression so much.
Best thing you can do is be decisive. Either make sure you get her back, or make sure you walk away.
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ShEp
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 05
Location: Dingwall, Highland
User status: Offline
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Her head is so full of other things at the moment,
Her nan passed away, she works 2 jobs and is constantly stressed out.
I can't see a way back at the moment. as she is hell bent on leaving me,
Saying we can still be friends, But that will never work, It will just tear me apart.
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
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Yeah that's the sort of thing I mean, friends and middle ground is just a head wreck.
I always say that if you do enough you can find a way, no reason why you can't have a plan to either establish the problems and resolve them.
Although if she's not even consulted you, I'd not really be too willing to put work in for someone who doesn't even want to consult 50% of the relationship.
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ShEp
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 05
Location: Dingwall, Highland
User status: Offline
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We spent a couple of days apart,
And when we met up again she was really upset and she said she missed me.
These sorts of signs give me hope and make me want to fight for the relationship.
But then if I start fighting for the relationship she'll clam up and not give me anything back.
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
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Depending how you approach it.
Do you think there's a future there?
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ShEp
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 05
Location: Dingwall, Highland
User status: Offline
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only 6 weeks ago she was hinting at getting engaged, we have talked about kids.
I actually bought a ring, but was waiting for the right time.
So i do see a future.
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Steve
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Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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The only thing on her mind is the other bloke she's been in some sort of cahoots with. Sorry to sound so blunt, last thing you want to hear but you need to realise there's no rational other reason for it.
Not suggesting she's been cheating, but someone will be there in some form for her to swing her attentions away. Her behaviour is guilt.
it may be saveable as it could simply be boredom, distance yourself and let her get it out of her system, she will more then likely come back
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by Steve]
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gazza808
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Registered: 30th Jun 08
Location: Peterborough
User status: Offline
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Do away with her,
I've just learnt the hard way,
Me and my now ex broke up about a year ago, she used exactly the same line, 6 months later we got back together because she decided she was being a nob,
6months after that exactly the same, wish I'd never gone back makes it worse,
Not to mention I can't really just fuck her off out of my life because I took the two dogs as I left.
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by gazza808]
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LeeM
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Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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when they start like this theres no way back, youre only going to end up hurt.
she'll throw you mixed signals and make you think there might be a chance, then shag someone else (if she isnt already)
however, that doesnt mean you should just give up. try and discuss whats going on and if its case of her having that much going on that somethings gotta give youre gonna have to show her you can be there for her if she wants you to. if she doesnt want uyou to then cut all strings and disapear, make her realise what shes lost
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve
The only thing on her mind is the other bloke she's been in some sort of cahoots with. Sorry to sound so blunt, last thing you want to hear but you need to realise there's no rational other reason for it.
Not suggesting she's been cheating, but someone will be there in some form for her to swing her attentions away. Her behaviour is guilt.
it may be saveable as it could simply be boredom, distance yourself and let her get it out of her system, she will more then likely come back
This, it's how the spawns of Satan roll I'm afraid.
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zac753
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Registered: 16th May 10
Location: Clacton-on-Sea, Essex
User status: Offline
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had same sort of thing with my girlfriend i was with 2 and half years she was everything to me, and one morning she turned around and said i love you but no longer in love with you it was really shocking and everything ever planned was ruined. she was the women who had been next to my hospital bed when i was told had week to live if i did not get a new liver and she was there for me so she was amazing in my eys but she messed me about after we broke up did send out mixed signs and felt like i was being led on but i was more then happy to try anything get back with her, it never worked out i ended up getting hurt even more. i would say do your best to cut off it there really no chance of sorting it cause it only gets a lot worst when they find a new partner and you dont trust me! sorry any mistakes only just woke up 
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Brett
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
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In general, I like steve theory on women, but I don't think it's always as clear cut, there's always the odd % that doesn't fall into it.
I think if someone isn't happy with their lives for one reason or another, be it work, social life, whatever, it's far too easy to blame the person closest to you.
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by Brett]
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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Steve = CS relationship adviser
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adiohead
Member
Registered: 28th Sep 01
User status: Offline
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She's looking elsewhere, imo.
Women do this in their ongoing search for DNA.
Shop her in for a new model.
Edit - just seen Steve's reply and he beat me to it
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by adiohead]
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john_redtop
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Registered: 31st Dec 08
Location: acklam middlesbrough
User status: Offline
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Had the same my self but was me finishing her was with a lass for 3 and a half year and in that time I did love her to bits I thought were were gonna be together for ever then one day I didn't feel the same about her anymore I kept it quiet and did try and love her how I did again but she noticed something was up just like you did I told her we did try to make things work but love isn't a thing you can just turn on and off when you like your heart has to be in it tbh from experiance its not worth it it might work for a couple of month then you will be back to square one. All the best though whatever the outcome
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ryzer
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Registered: 18th Mar 03
Location: Berkshire Drives:UGLY MUG
User status: Offline
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I've been there too mate, although I was only with her just short of 2 years, no where near what you must be feeling.
My gf did the same, she said to me she thought it could work, we could get back on track, but in essence it was false hope, her mind was made up and she was pulling away.
Steve is most probably spot on, everyone said to me there must be another bloke, and shortly after we ended I heard she was seeing someone else. It's hard to hear I know.
My advice from my experience is not fight to hard, have a very serious chat and get all your stuff off your chest the once, and then leave her to it. She has instigated this, not you and she needs to make her own mind up if she wants to be with you. And then she can come back for the RIGHT reasons.
If you put too much effort in it will only push her further away as it will make you look desperate.
I got sent a great book in PDF form that is called how to get your ex back, obviously it starts with a plan of how you can win her back but the way its structured you learn to be on your own and makes you think if you do really want her back. if you want a look u2u me
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by ryzer]
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AK
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Registered: 5th Jul 00
Location: Aberdeen City
User status: Offline
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women are funny creatures. I've given up trying to understand them
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adiohead
Member
Registered: 28th Sep 01
User status: Offline
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They may seem hard to understand, but they're not.
Understanding women 101:
- Everything they say is a lie and they usually mean the opposite (eg. "No, it's fine" actually means "It's not ok")
- They thrive on cock, but would never admit it
- All they desire in life is DNA, and money. If they can get both then they may stick around for longer than usual
- They will purposely go out with the biggest wanker in the world because subconsciously they know it'll never work and then they can just continue their ongoing search for DNA afterwards
- They are devoid of human emotion
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by adiohead]
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Balling
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Apr 04
Location: Denmark
User status: Offline
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Fucking hell, man! Pretty bleak point of view! 
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by adiohead
They may seem hard to understand, but they're not.
Understanding women 101:
- Everything they say is a lie and they usually mean the opposite (eg. "No, it's fine" actually means "It's not ok")
- They thrive on cock, but would never admit it
- All they desire in life is DNA, and money. If they can get both then they may stick around for longer than usual
- They will purposely go out with the biggest wanker in the world because subconsciously they know it'll never work and then they can just continue their ongoing search for DNA afterwards
- They are devoid of human emotion
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by adiohead]
Fucking spot on
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JordyCarter
Member
Registered: 14th Mar 10
User status: Offline
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Above seems pretty accurate.
Me though i love money and women, im excited about figures 
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ryzer
Member
Registered: 18th Mar 03
Location: Berkshire Drives:UGLY MUG
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin
quote:
Originally posted by adiohead
They may seem hard to understand, but they're not.
Understanding women 101:
- Everything they say is a lie and they usually mean the opposite (eg. "No, it's fine" actually means "It's not ok")
- They thrive on cock, but would never admit it
- All they desire in life is DNA, and money. If they can get both then they may stick around for longer than usual
- They will purposely go out with the biggest wanker in the world because subconsciously they know it'll never work and then they can just continue their ongoing search for DNA afterwards
- They are devoid of human emotion
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by adiohead]
Fucking spot on
Absolutely.
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AK
Member
Registered: 5th Jul 00
Location: Aberdeen City
User status: Offline
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first point is so so so so true!
I'd disagree on the last point though... I'd suggest they simply posses to many emotions.
For example I have pretty simple emotions.. happy/sad, yes/no, black/white. They overthink and generally over complicate matters.
The points inbetween vary from sample to sample  If you choose to go out with a spunkbucket airhead who just wants to be seen to be wealthy/succesfull/happy without working for anything - so clothes, shoes, fake tan, hair, nails etc... then yes I'd agree. They are a waste of 'DNA' <spunk>. The UK seems to be on the up with these nuggets that think being a Z list celeb is a career choice
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by AK]
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Adster
Member
Registered: 8th Jul 10
Location: Leyland, Lancs
User status: Offline
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women = mind fucks.
my ex misses went all ignorant on me and had been hanging out with one guy. Telling me that theres only me, she'd never go out with him blah blah blah, breaks up with me, gets with him. fucking slut.
saying "lets just be friends" 99% of the time never happens.
[Edited on 13-08-2012 by Adster]
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