Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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Great blog, some amazing quotes.
'I didn’t order any food, I couldn’t stomach any. Watching Zardoz eat a croissant, it was physically impossible to tell where the croissant flakes stopped, and her lips started. This was stomach churning, on an epic scale. She finished up her pretentious as fuck breakfast; we swapped numbers, and went on our separate ways. I stayed in text contact with Zardoz; we had phone sex occasionally, bombarded each other with inappropriate pictures, pretty much everything people on the tele tell you not to do. Next time I was up in Newcastle she asked if I wanted to meet up again. I felt this was the perfect opportunity to get my eye in before another weekend of mayhem and destruction. She asked if I wanted to go out drinking with her and her housemates. I wasn’t keen, but viewed it as a necessary evil. We arranged a time, and a date, and exchanged the obligatory “Can’t wait to see you x” messages'
Give it a read
officearsehole.wordpress.com
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AdZ9
Member
Registered: 14th Apr 06
User status: Offline
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Even though these are 99% fake, i'm laughing at them still
"Once out she proceeded to lay on the bed wet, on my side, I’m not ashamed to admit I went mad at the dampness of the duvet
She got upset and started to cry (she’d been drinking Gin), apparently Anal would cheer her up. Who was I to argue?
This brought with it it’s own problems though. The babyoil mixed with the ‘effluent’, to form a brown, oily paste
So with #TheDevilsBaguette looking chocolate coated. I pulled out, she was absolutely mortified, close to tears
As I tiptoped to dangle #TheDevilsBaguette in the sink, she stood at the door, trying not to weep
“Don’t worry, it’s not your fault you had one in the chamber” I offered comfortingly. That was it, tears, sobbing…
I’m not even going to go into how, earlier in the night, I gave her a clit friction burn with her tie at the side thong"
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Demo
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 01
Location: south wales Drives: astra sri ecoflex
User status: Offline
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OA is a fucking legend
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AdZ9
Member
Registered: 14th Apr 06
User status: Offline
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I'm only onto #2 and i'm in tears laughing
"Having drunk 3/4 of a bottle of JD, I was a little worst for wear, but upto the task I thought. In it went, quite difficultly I thought for someone so arroused. She kept making weird noises, I thought nothing of it. ”It’s hurting, we need lube” she said “Shurrup you girl” I shot back, as I carried on. Eventually I got the kind of burning in your arms you get carrying an overloaded basket round the shops, and had to stop. Only then did I realise what had been going on. In my drunken stupor, I’d gotten the ends mixed up, and had just fucked her raw with the Rampant Rabbit handle. Raised buttons and all. I never did own up to what I’d done. So horrific was her experience she threw the Rabbit in my bin and proclaimed it shit."
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